Wednesday, July 9, 2008

You can only give what you have to give

Hi everyone, I haven't written in a couple of weeks due to vacations & obligations but I have tons on my mind and continue to keep up the conversations with other women about how they treat themselves well.
Are you feeling depleted? The motto of the past two weeks for me have been that "You can only give what you have to give". I know I wrote a blog about how giving to others is another way to treat yourself well, but I didn't go far enough with that. If you don't have it to give- it won't manifest in a way that feels like you're treating yourself well. I know this all too well--as a person who constantly loves to give (I really do enjoy it and give from an open heart to family, friends, etc) I've found myself caught in that vortex of giving and not paying attention to myself. I've learned- and had to practice a great deal the past two weeks- that when I give and give of my time, efforts, etc without giving anything to myself I'm quickly depleted. Let's get specific- I spent the past weeks doing and giving to everyone else in the form of preparing for vacation, hosting a house guest, keeping my kids entertained while juggling work, even volunteering at church in an area they need help with. As I look back on those two weeks I can clearly see little slots of time that I could have, and should have, taken time for myself or allowed myself time to write/read/just be. One of the best ways I've found to force myself to give myself time, or whatever I need at that moment is to ASK for it. To reach out and ASK my kids to play quietly for 30 minutes upstairs so mom can do some studying/reading...to ASK for that extra help around the house or with my schedule and not saying "I need some help around here" but instead saying "I need you to take one of the kids and get them ready for bed every night including bath, teeth, book" I've learned the hard way that when I extend a vague plea for help I get vague results. So, be specific when you're asking for what you need, recognize those times when you're feeling depleted and if it is alone time you need, take it, if it is time with friends you need...schedule it. Use your friends as alarm clocks--allow them to "bug" you about getting together or ask you how much "me" time you've spent in the past week. It will keep you accountable and gently push you to keep yourself on your own to do list.

No comments: